Sailing...

The sea looked angry as we sailed out of Sweden. So did the sky. It was dark and grey, with wind sweeping rain against the ship. I LOVED it. It felt like the ocean was just sitting there, holding back from using it's great power as it let us sail gently through. The wind whipped flecks of white across the top of the water, and there was nothing man-made to protect us but this big old "boat". Even in this huge ship with a new engine full of muscle, I felt like I was on a little leaf adrift in a lake. Tsunamis and tidal waves happen unexpectedly; without warning. At any moment, that ocean could go crazy...and with such power, we'd be smashed and gone in an instant. It reminds me of God. I guess I sometimes feel like I can't trust Him completely too; like one day, maybe something I do wrong will send Him over the edge in rage, and He'll strike me with lightening like He did with Ananias and Sapphira. But in my head, I'm learning that He's not like that. He let a part of Himself be tortured and die so that my sin wouldn't make Him furious anymore - so we could look at it together and I could trust Him to fix my yuck bits - instead of my sin creating a giant chasm between us of His anger and power, and my whimpering fear. I hope this truth will sink from my head into my heart sometime soon, because I want to be able to trust Him with all of me.

We pulled in to Koge, Denmark, last night, right up against a beautiful cafe strip lining the queyside. It is the quaintest old sea-town! Each cafe has it's own cosy little timeworn character. The buildings are all so tiny; covered in vines and creepers; many dating back a long way, with their worn brick and stone, and funny little criss-crossed window panes. Unfortunately, it is also insanely expensive! And as we are here for 3 months, just doing physical practical work on fixing the ship, I have a feeling that we might start getting a little down-hearted after a while...If you're a praying person, please pray for us.

By the way, I forgot to mention yet ANOTHER incident with the police! This time in Sweden...(hopefully the trend won't continue with each country!). Actually, my friend and I had ridden into town on borrowed bikes when we met up with some guys from the ship. After a night of kebabs, popcorn, and "The Incredible Hulk 2", we headed home with the boys sitting on our bike racks. Next thing, we're pulled over by the cops who start yabbering away in Swedish. Tamy explained that we were from Brazil, Russia, Australia, and Antigua, and the guy was so surprised that he had a little laugh, and said we were lucky, because tonight he would let us go home without the fine we deserved...whew! I think tourists and "blondes" are the same breed. We can get away with anything by simply playing dumb.

Miss you Aussies. xx

Sweden!

Imagine curling up in bed after a long day's work, to be gently rocked to sleep on a big old ship as it slowly rolls through the swell, and it's engines quietly rumble through the floor of your cabin...So beautiful. After all the crazy delays, we have finally left Keil! We sailed to Sweden a couple of weeks ago; past the many gleaming white sandstone islands; under the huge bridge that crosses countries from Sweden to Denmark; and finally, (passing all the naked sunbathing Swedes on the banks!), into the canal where our ship will be sliced open and have a new generator put in.

Diving from the lifeboats and swimming in the FREEZING water by the ship; sprawling out in the sun on deck nine with a good book; catching jellyfish; cycling to castles and islands and sunsets and beaches down cobblestoned streets...eating fresh warm peaches from the markets, and ice cold milkshakes from the general store...Sweden has been a beautiful break from the drudgery of darkness, work and cold. It is light until SO late, and the sun rises before even the earliest early birds, so work only takes up a small section of our daylight hours! It is wonderful!

But, to be honest, despite all the beauty around me, I've still been toughing it a bit. I've been having one of those weeks where you feel aweful and insecure for no reason, and you just can't get into a good mood. And no matter what's going on around me, I can only see the bad in it. Sometimes, the aweful unfairness of life just weighs me down so much I get depressed. Like, when I hear about kids starving to death on the streets, I feel so aweful even taking one bite of my fried rice, cos I know that while I eat, people are dying of starvation. And I can't do a thing about it. And while I have a wardrobe full of clothes, other girls my age are living with only one set. What makes me any better than them, that I always get so much, and they always get so little? It really bothers me. Anyway...I dunno. I guess life just IS unfair, cos Satan rules this world, and he's a rotton unfair mongrel...but in heaven, I can't wait to serve these poor people who've had such an aweful experience on earth. I want to make them the most beautiful banquets and kiss their feet because I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to make this world fair.

I see so much excellent GOOD in this world, and so much aweful BAD, and I guess I'm just not sure what to make of it all. God doesn't want us depressed, but I don't think He wants us always to be happy I suppose. But Paul said something about being always satisfied, no matter what situation he was in. That would be very cool; to be always satisfied. Hmmm...