Sweden!

Imagine curling up in bed after a long day's work, to be gently rocked to sleep on a big old ship as it slowly rolls through the swell, and it's engines quietly rumble through the floor of your cabin...So beautiful. After all the crazy delays, we have finally left Keil! We sailed to Sweden a couple of weeks ago; past the many gleaming white sandstone islands; under the huge bridge that crosses countries from Sweden to Denmark; and finally, (passing all the naked sunbathing Swedes on the banks!), into the canal where our ship will be sliced open and have a new generator put in.

Diving from the lifeboats and swimming in the FREEZING water by the ship; sprawling out in the sun on deck nine with a good book; catching jellyfish; cycling to castles and islands and sunsets and beaches down cobblestoned streets...eating fresh warm peaches from the markets, and ice cold milkshakes from the general store...Sweden has been a beautiful break from the drudgery of darkness, work and cold. It is light until SO late, and the sun rises before even the earliest early birds, so work only takes up a small section of our daylight hours! It is wonderful!

But, to be honest, despite all the beauty around me, I've still been toughing it a bit. I've been having one of those weeks where you feel aweful and insecure for no reason, and you just can't get into a good mood. And no matter what's going on around me, I can only see the bad in it. Sometimes, the aweful unfairness of life just weighs me down so much I get depressed. Like, when I hear about kids starving to death on the streets, I feel so aweful even taking one bite of my fried rice, cos I know that while I eat, people are dying of starvation. And I can't do a thing about it. And while I have a wardrobe full of clothes, other girls my age are living with only one set. What makes me any better than them, that I always get so much, and they always get so little? It really bothers me. Anyway...I dunno. I guess life just IS unfair, cos Satan rules this world, and he's a rotton unfair mongrel...but in heaven, I can't wait to serve these poor people who've had such an aweful experience on earth. I want to make them the most beautiful banquets and kiss their feet because I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to make this world fair.

I see so much excellent GOOD in this world, and so much aweful BAD, and I guess I'm just not sure what to make of it all. God doesn't want us depressed, but I don't think He wants us always to be happy I suppose. But Paul said something about being always satisfied, no matter what situation he was in. That would be very cool; to be always satisfied. Hmmm...